puzzled, she walks, the old lady pilgrim....
warned of tiring feet, chanting,
discovering flight, she glides, O Vittala!!!
She had fasted for the previous two days, as she had done, all these twenty years before the start of the wari. The fatigue and weakness was catching up with her now, as she had started walking from Alandi to Pune. The crowds had swelled up, as they would, between Dehu, Alandi and Pune and seemed to be indisciplined. The dindis were however, regulated in a very strict manner.
Today, her legs seemed to be failing her. She was beginning to feel the pain. She could not walk as fast as the others. This was just the first day of the palkhi. She wondered if she could keep going all the way to Pandharpur in time for the Ashaad Ekadashi. Would she get to see her very dear Panduranga? Would Vittala, her most dear and beloved Vittala give strength to her 82 year old legs, and tired and weakened body and help her walk all the way to Pandharpur? She kept seeing the enthusiasm of her team members, and was feeling scared of slowing down her group and causing a scare on the very first day. It would have been extremely inauspicious.
Her mind told her to go on, but her feet were unable to walk at the same speed. She turned to a youngish team mate, walking alongside her, and said, "I am unable to walk, for now, and I am frightened. Today is the first day."
The young lady smiled at her and replied, "O tai, do not worry. You will complete the wari, and the next year, you will again be walking with me. Your body and legs are only rusty. It will be painful in the first 2-3 days only." Reassured, the old lady smiled, feeling the pain in her legs, and tried to walk, chanting, "Om Ram Krishna Hari, Om Ram Krishna Hari." But, the legs did not seem to respond. She turned to the young lady again, and said, "Vittala!!! Give me strength! I am unable to keep up for now. Let me sit someplace, and rest for some time. I will catch up with you later. We are all going to be at Pune for tonight."
The young lady nodded in agreement and replied, "Make it to the usual house where we always stay on the first night at Pune. You can rest there tonight. If you get lost, ask for someone's help and call me on my mobile phone. Do not worry." Reassured, the old lady stepped out of the orderly palkhi and went up to a bus-stand and sat under the shade. It felt extremely good, to rest there.
It had rained all day, the day before, and there did not seem to be any hint of rain for now. She would have welcomed the rains, for she would have been able to gain her strength. She thought back to her younger days, when she would run about, getting wet in the rain. At that time, nobody scolded her for doing so, and all the girls in the village had usually joined her in the mischief. Most of her childhood friends, boys and girls, had gone, passed away, before her. She could not recollect if any of her childhood friends were alive any more. She wondered if she was only eighty-two years old, for it seemed like a lot more, for sure.
She watched the palkhi go by, all groups walking in a disciplined manner, with their banners aloft, and their flags flying proudly. This was the first day, and all pilgrims were eager, happy and walking spiritedly. The local devotees had lined up along the street and gathered in good numbers. There were other devotees seated at the bus-stand, and one of them had stood up and offered his seat to her. They knew that she was a warkari, and the young lad had looked proud to have been able to help her.
The years were going by, she realised. She had never been tired in the wari as she had been today. It was strange, she thought. She had never wondered or thought about her childhood friends for many years. Today, she was remembering them as they were, all together at 8-10 years of age, happy, uncaring, playful, unfearing and united in all their games and activities. She remembered their names, and she could recollect them, one by one. What was strange was that she could not remember them as adults, after they had got married and had children or as old persons.
Memories were very strange, she told herself. Some things you remember and some events or people are absolutely out of memory. How do we forget? she wondered. A young girl, possibly about 8 years old, came walking out of the crowd that was watching the warkaris walk towards Pune. This girl did not seem to be watching the people. She came walking directly to the old woman pilgrim. The old lady wondered about the girl, for her style of clothes were totally unlike those that she saw on girls of that age in these days. The clothes, were, she wondered to herself as to how she could put it - the clothes were very old, and the style was also very old.
The girl came directly to the old lady and smiled. The old lady smiled back, and looked at her curiously. The girl placed her hands on her hips, and said, "O Kashi, why are you sitting here? Why are you not walking with the others?" The old lady was stunned that this young girl knew her name and was so bold to ask her so directly, and seemed to be so impudent. Kashi, for that was her name, asked in reply, "You know my name? Who are you?"
The girl replied, "You do not remember me, O Kashi? How can you be so forgetful. Look at me closely. I am Jana, your childhood friend. We used to run away from our village school teacher and go to collect tamarind for all our friends. Look at me closely!"
Kashi looked at the girl closely, and fought with her memories. Yes. This girl did look like Jana, and she knew her with all her love and affection of so many years. She asked, "How did you come here, at this moment? Are you also walking with the palkhi? I was feeling tired. This is the first time that I am feeling tired in the twenty years that I have been walking with the palkhi. Today, my feet are refusing to obey me. They seem to have given up."
Jana, the 8 year old girl, replied, "O Kashi, how can you say that you are tired? You were the one with the most energy in our group. Remember, 75 years ago, you had run all along the railway train when it had come to our village for the first time. None of us could keep up with you. How can you say that you cannot walk? Come, I will help you. Are your legs paining? Come, I will massage them."
Kashi smiled at the memory. Yes. She had run along the railway train. They used to be slower in those days, and one could run along with the trains. Not nowadays. The other girls had also tried, but she had run faster than any one of them. She said, "Jana, yes... I did not remember. I am not the same person as I was in those days. That was a very long long time ago. You are able to remember after all these 75 years. I am getting more tired nowadays. This is the first day of the palkhi and I am unable to keep up with my group. I have been sitting here for twenty minutes, and my feet are refusing to help me."
Jana sat down on the footpath, below Kashi's seat, and started massaging her feet, one by one. The touch was amazing, and Kashi could feel the resistence in her legs begin to melt away. A lady who was watching the scene with fascination turned to a boy alongside her, and asked him to run to a shop and purchase a small bottle of coconut oil and bring it to the 'small girl who is more sensible' than her overgrown son. The boy fetched the bottle of coconut oil and handed it over to Jana.
Thanking him, Jana applied the coconut oil on Kashi's battered feet and soles and massaged them tenderly. Kashi kept looking at Jana's face with love, and gathered up the long lost memories of those years gone by. How happy they had all been. Jana, Kashi herself, Goda, Krishna, Saru and Bagha. Jana had had an elder brother, Ram dada, as they used to call him. She asked the small girl, "O Jana, what happened to your elder brother, Ramdada? Where is he now?"
Jana, massaging Kashi's legs, replied, "O! My dada? He got married, and his daughter got married in Pune. This lady here, is Ramdada's daughter. It is her son who went to get the bottle of oil. I come here, regularly, and we stand here, over these past twenty years, to watch you walk in the palkhi. We are all very proud of you. Ramdada has passed on to Vaikhunta, more than ten years ago, but he used to be the proudest. He thought of you as a sister, closer to him, than me."
"He used to point out to you, and say - there, there goes Kashi, strong as ever, always better than the railway train." Jana continued, "And, he would then say to me, every year, without fail, you will never be as strong as her, Jana. Your sickness will never allow you to walk. Too bad that we did not know about polio in our village."
The lady standing nearby said, "O Kashibai, we are very proud of you. It is only on the first day of the palkhi that my Jana-atya comes to us. She stands here, watching you, and is very proud that you are able to walk. Do not worry about missing your group. My son will give you a lift in his bike, and Jana will come with you, and they will drop you at your exact dindi group."
The young boy came up very soon with his bike, and Jana also declared, "There, O Kashi, your legs are as good as new. I cannot walk as you can, because of my polio, but I can come with you on the bike, and we will take you to your group. Keep this bottle of coconut oil with you, for it may be useful later."
Extremely happy, Kashi hugged Ramdada's daughter, and went up to the bike. Jana was already sitting behind the young boy, and Kashi sat behind her. He drove slowly through the walking crowd. Nobody objected, for they could see that he was helping an old woman pilgrim, and many people blessed him for his good heart. In a few minutes, they were past the main rath of Dnyanba, and they went ahead of the all-women dindi group. The boy stopped his bike, and Kashi got down and stood on the roadside. She watched her group come closer, and she stepped out of the standing crowd to get inside her dindi.
Kashi turned around to thank the boy and Jana. Her dindi group was moving ahead rapidly. She could not see the boy or Jana or the motorbike. They would have had to move ahead in the same direction, because the police would not have allowed them to turn back. She could not locate them. Her young friend in the group was surprised to see her back in the group, and walking in a spirited manner. But, she did not ask any question. This was Dnyanba's wari, and they were all going to see Panduranga Vittala!!! Nobody questioned anything...
Glossary
Ashaadhi = the Hindu Calendar month during June-July
atya = Aunt, usually, father's sister.
dada = elder brother
Dindis = the group-units of pilgrims participating in the wari.
Dnyanba = Sant Shri Dnyaneshwar of Alandi
paadukas = the sacred symbolic feet-impressions of deities or sages
palkhi = the pilgrimage from Dehu-Sant Tukaram temple and Alandi-Sant Dnyaneshwar temple via Pune to Pandharpur in Solapur District, Maharashtra
rath = chariot, usually pulled by oxen during the palkhi from Dehu-Alandi-Pune to Pandharpur
vaikhunta = passed away. Gone ahead to the great heavens above.
wari = the annual June-July (ashaadhi) pilgrimage from Dehu-Alandi-Pune to Pandharpur.
warkaris = traditional pilgrims - devotees of Panduranga Vittala, the deity at Pandharpur - who walk from Dehu-Alandi-Pune to Pandharpur, covering nearly 200 kms
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